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Beauty and the Muse

  • #LeahVDaily
  • Podcast
  • Meet Muse
  • Press
  • LVtv
  • Patreon
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  • Resume
Photo:  Moon Reflections  +  Makeup:  Madinah M . 

Photo: Moon Reflections +  Makeup: Madinah M. 

 #LeahVDaily

#LeahVDaily is a social and fashion movement that began on Instagram.

It encompasses all the different facets of my style and ideas.

You'll see how I rock street style to vintage glam but this just isn't about beauty, every photo is paired with meaningful content about feminism, social justice, divorce, and body positive activism.   

You get a front row seat to my life's journey.

Pull up a chair...

--Leah V. Daily--

  • February 2019
    • Feb 13, 2019 Day 1: 30 Days in NYC Feb 13, 2019
  • January 2019
    • Jan 31, 2019 Vulnerability: Not Having It All Together Jan 31, 2019
    • Jan 11, 2019 Instagram Trolls: Body Shaming and Beyond Jan 11, 2019
  • December 2018
    • Dec 15, 2018 Fear: Taking Leaps and Bounds Dec 15, 2018
  • November 2018
    • Nov 27, 2018 The Unconventional: Thriving As A Covered Model Nov 27, 2018
  • October 2018
    • Oct 30, 2018 Why Eating In Public Has Empowered Me Oct 30, 2018
    • Oct 15, 2018 Simply Be UK "Express Yourself" Ad Oct 15, 2018
  • September 2018
    • Sep 29, 2018 Everything is Going to Change Sep 29, 2018
    • Sep 3, 2018 Doing The Impossible Sep 3, 2018
  • August 2018
    • Aug 18, 2018 BRUT Feature: Power In Numbers Aug 18, 2018
    • Aug 15, 2018 UK Collaboration With LOVEDROBE Aug 15, 2018
  • July 2018
    • Jul 19, 2018 Transparency After Having The Hypothetical Tape Ripped From My Mouth Jul 19, 2018
    • Jul 6, 2018 Ep 3: Learning From Failure With RV Mendoza Jul 6, 2018
  • June 2018
    • Jun 28, 2018 What Not To Wear Jun 28, 2018
    • Jun 16, 2018 Episode 1: Body Confidence with Etta Flyy Jun 16, 2018
    • Jun 8, 2018 The Last Straw: Kate, Now Anthony Jun 8, 2018
  • May 2018
    • May 25, 2018 Ramadan Chronicles: Embracing Imperfections May 25, 2018
    • May 15, 2018 5th Year in the Game: It’s My Blogger-versary May 15, 2018
    • May 4, 2018 I’m Not Sorry. Actually I’m Unapologetic. May 4, 2018
  • April 2018
    • Apr 24, 2018 Am I Not Muslim Enough For You?   Apr 24, 2018
    • Apr 10, 2018 Accepting My Body As It Is Apr 10, 2018
    • Apr 1, 2018 Just Dropping In :) Apr 1, 2018
  • March 2018
    • Mar 23, 2018 Fat, Black, and Carefree: NYC Video Project Mar 23, 2018
    • Mar 13, 2018 F is for Fat Mar 13, 2018
    • Mar 4, 2018 The Deletion of the Perfect Instagram Hijabi Mar 4, 2018
  • February 2018
    • Feb 20, 2018 BodyPROJECT: Turbanista in the City Feb 20, 2018
    • Feb 13, 2018 Muslim Women Are Trending, but Some of Us Are Still Invisible Feb 13, 2018
    • Feb 6, 2018 Blogging 101: Finding Your Niche, Building Content, and Tackling Instagram Feb 6, 2018
  • January 2018
    • Jan 26, 2018 Leah V Makeup Tutorial Jan 26, 2018
    • Jan 22, 2018 The Power of Transparency Jan 22, 2018
    • Jan 12, 2018 I Was Called a Whore Because of This Photo Jan 12, 2018
    • Jan 5, 2018 A REAL Beauty Campaign Jan 5, 2018
  • December 2017
    • Dec 26, 2017 Looking Back On 2017 Dec 26, 2017
    • Dec 18, 2017 Leah V on Feminism and the City of Detroit Dec 18, 2017
    • Dec 11, 2017 Dating in a Fatphobic World Dec 11, 2017
    • Dec 1, 2017 Reclaiming Time and Taking Up Space Dec 1, 2017
  • November 2017
    • Nov 24, 2017 Mistaking a Woman's Trauma as Bitterness Nov 24, 2017
    • Nov 17, 2017 The Muslimah Rebel: Why Quitting Ain't an Option Nov 17, 2017
    • Nov 8, 2017 My Photos Tell A Story Nov 8, 2017
    • Nov 1, 2017 Inclusion: The Perception of Perfection in Islam Nov 1, 2017
  • October 2017
    • Oct 23, 2017 On the Verge of Quitting Oct 23, 2017
    • Oct 13, 2017 Stop Calling Women Selfish Because They Choose Birth Control Oct 13, 2017
    • Oct 6, 2017 I'm LIVE! Art Detroit Ep 2 Oct 6, 2017
  • September 2017
    • Sep 29, 2017 When I Finally Noticed that My Uniqueness was an Asset Sep 29, 2017
    • Sep 22, 2017 The Pitfalls of Being on Social Media and Other Inadequacies Sep 22, 2017
    • Sep 15, 2017 The Broke Artist Sep 15, 2017
    • Sep 8, 2017 Muslim Girl Dance #BodyProject Sep 8, 2017
    • Sep 1, 2017 One-Year Divorce Anniversary Sep 1, 2017
  • August 2017
    • Aug 26, 2017 Visibility in Islam Aug 26, 2017
    • Aug 18, 2017 No Longer Bound By The Scale. How Much I Really Weigh. Aug 18, 2017
    • Aug 11, 2017 Why Can't We Be #BodyGoals? Aug 11, 2017
    • Aug 4, 2017 The Difference Between Religion and Spirituality Aug 4, 2017
  • July 2017
    • Jul 30, 2017 Why Does Female Empowerment Make You Uncomfortable? Jul 30, 2017
    • Jul 18, 2017 Leading the Resistance: Your Voice Counts Jul 18, 2017
    • Jul 8, 2017 Are You Even Muslim? Jul 8, 2017
    • Jul 3, 2017 First Times Can Be Charms, Too Jul 3, 2017
  • June 2017
    • Jun 26, 2017 The #BODYProject Trailer Jun 26, 2017
    • Jun 11, 2017 60-Second Turbanista Style Jun 11, 2017
    • Jun 4, 2017 Social Media: Stop Allowing it to Define Your Self-Worth Jun 4, 2017
  • May 2017
    • May 27, 2017 Battling Inner Demons May 27, 2017
    • May 22, 2017 10 Questions with Leah V and RV May 22, 2017
    • May 14, 2017 Boys Will Be Boys May 14, 2017
    • May 6, 2017 How Well Do You Know Your Muslim Friend? (Pt. 1) May 6, 2017
  • April 2017
    • Apr 29, 2017 Fan Questions Answered with Leah V. Apr 29, 2017
    • Apr 15, 2017 Do You Wish You Weren’t Fat? Apr 15, 2017
    • Apr 8, 2017 Thighs That Touch Apr 8, 2017
  • March 2017
    • Mar 24, 2017 Momentum: The Life of a Black Socialite Mar 24, 2017
    • Mar 20, 2017 Stop Policing a Woman's Body Mar 20, 2017
    • Mar 9, 2017 Detroit Girl in a London World Mar 9, 2017
  • February 2017
    • Feb 27, 2017 My Hijab. My Crown. My Way. Feb 27, 2017
    • Feb 23, 2017 Ghetto DIY Tumeric Face Mask Feb 23, 2017
    • Feb 7, 2017 The Non-Valentine’s Day Valentine’s Day Feb 7, 2017
  • January 2017
    • Jan 27, 2017 Feminism: I’m Not Your Stereotype Jan 27, 2017
    • Jan 17, 2017 Taking Back the True Meaning of Beauty Jan 17, 2017
    • Jan 6, 2017 Who Said Fat Girls Can’t Slay? Top 7 Outfits of 2016 Jan 6, 2017
  • December 2016
    • Dec 30, 2016 New Year, New Me? Dec 30, 2016
    • Dec 23, 2016 Vulnerability Doesn’t Mean Weakness Dec 23, 2016
    • Dec 17, 2016 How to Wrap a Pin Turban Dec 17, 2016
    • Dec 12, 2016 The Black Girl with Many Faces Dec 12, 2016
    • Dec 2, 2016 Beauty Review: Zahara Cosmetics Dec 2, 2016
  • November 2016
    • Nov 26, 2016 A Look Into How We View Mental Illness Nov 26, 2016
    • Nov 18, 2016 *New Youtube Video* Leah V. Gets a Brazilian Nov 18, 2016
    • Nov 14, 2016 This is What Real Body Positivity Looks Like Nov 14, 2016
    • Nov 5, 2016 Identity: I Wanted to be a White Girl Nov 5, 2016
  • October 2016
    • Oct 28, 2016 Upliftment Through Style: Detroit’s Body Positive Movement Oct 28, 2016
    • Oct 22, 2016 I’m Muslim, But I’m not the Poster Child for Islam Oct 22, 2016
    • Oct 14, 2016 Objectification Of A Fat Woman Oct 14, 2016
    • Oct 8, 2016 Style: First Time Wearing A Bisht Oct 8, 2016
  • September 2016
    • Sep 30, 2016 The ‘F’ Word: FAT Sep 30, 2016
    • Sep 23, 2016 Divorced and Almost 30... Where to Now? Sep 23, 2016
    • Sep 13, 2016 Body Image: How to Get Over It Sep 13, 2016
    • Sep 2, 2016 Why I Decided to Become a Plus-Size Model Sep 2, 2016
  • August 2016
    • Aug 26, 2016 I Used To Get Bullied For Dressing Different Aug 26, 2016
    • Aug 17, 2016 Confessions of a Content Fat Girl: Late 20’s Reflections Aug 17, 2016
    • Aug 7, 2016 I Posted a Picture in Front of the #BlackLivesMatter Wall and the Internet Went Crazy Aug 7, 2016
  • July 2016
    • Jul 26, 2016 Fat Girl Style Guide: Color Blocking Jul 26, 2016
    • Jul 19, 2016 Trois Soeurs: West African Accessories Jul 19, 2016
    • Jul 14, 2016 Diversity In YA Books: Brown Girls Need Heroines, Too! Jul 14, 2016
    • Jul 7, 2016 Naturally Flyy Detroit Jul 7, 2016
  • June 2016
    • Jun 30, 2016 Eid Glam: Tips on Finding the Perfect Eid Ensemble Jun 30, 2016
    • Jun 23, 2016 Ladies That Lead Tour Jun 23, 2016
    • Jun 15, 2016 Editor's Note: A Photo Doesn't Capture Our True Struggles Jun 15, 2016
    • Jun 11, 2016 Natural Makeup Tips For Girls With Melanin Jun 11, 2016
    • Jun 4, 2016 Father’s Day: Adding Unique Accessories to Your Wardrobe Jun 4, 2016
    • Jun 1, 2016 How to Rock a Plus-Size Tutu Like a Boss Jun 1, 2016
  • May 2016
    • May 22, 2016 Fat Girl Guide: Affordable Shopping May 22, 2016
    • May 16, 2016 The Selfie: What's So Wrong About Being Confident? May 16, 2016
    • May 7, 2016 Body Positivity: All Bodies Are Good Bodies May 7, 2016
    • May 3, 2016 Detroit's Style Butteryfly: Lala Trips May 3, 2016
  • April 2016
    • Apr 27, 2016 The Perfect Blogger: Tips on Breaking into the Blogging World Apr 27, 2016
    • Apr 20, 2016 Curvy OOTD: Spring Is Officially In Session Apr 20, 2016
    • Apr 11, 2016 Hollywood In Detroit Gala Apr 11, 2016
    • Apr 1, 2016 #BlackGirlMagic Apr 1, 2016
  • March 2016
    • Mar 25, 2016 Curvy Trend: Nicki Minaj Collection & Torrid Mar 25, 2016
    • Mar 21, 2016 Curvy Enthusiast: Alysse Dalessandro of Ready To Stare Mar 21, 2016
    • Mar 18, 2016 Daily Inspiration: What's Yours? Mar 18, 2016
    • Mar 14, 2016 TCF Style Brunch Series--Atlanta Mar 14, 2016
    • Mar 10, 2016 Turbanista Chornicles: Detroit Street Style Mar 10, 2016
    • Mar 6, 2016 Big Thanks: New Blogging Camera Mar 6, 2016
    • Mar 1, 2016 15 Diverse Bloggers You Need To Know Mar 1, 2016
  • February 2016
    • Feb 24, 2016 Evolution of a Black Blogger Feb 24, 2016
    • Feb 10, 2016 Curvy Conversations: Who Am I to the Fashion World? Feb 10, 2016
  • January 2016
    • Jan 31, 2016 Curvy Vintage Style Jan 31, 2016
If ever in your life you have been told that you can’t—that you won’t—that you’ll never, then this is your daily reminder. I am a living, breathing reminder that it is possible. I am your permission slip that we don’t have to sit in our own shit, that we don’t have to believe what they say, that the names we are called don’t define us, that our pasts don’t dictate our futures. I remember telling people about my blog, my plans. Showing up to events as a newbie. I got side-eyed. Used. Rejected. Ignored. I was told that it couldn’t be done. I wasn’t the one to do it. That I was too big. Not enough of a following. Too Black. Too Muslim but not Muslim enough. That I ain’t have the know-how, the money, the connections or the resources. I had people (mostly women) tell me when I was on the verge of quitting, “You 👏🏾are👏🏾that👏🏾shit👏🏾”. Which gave me a little more encouragement to keep going. We get beat down everyday when society tells us that we, as we are, aren’t enough. If I can reach only one of you, make you feel like you are the shit, then my job is done. If you are disadvantaged, poor, mentally/physically disabled, handicapable, queer, dark/brown, marginalized, have scars/gap/extra skin/crooked teeth/acne, you are that shit! *Tongue pop* I am rooting for you. We are rooting for you. What have you been told you can’t or won’t do? What have you done against the odds? Do y’all want more videos or nah? Lol. Let’s chat. #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #modestfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #inspirational #selflove #seventeen #teengirl #instavideo #turbanista #beautybloggers #nomakeup
I notice when I talk about body acceptance, usually of marginalized bodies. I get: “YoU aRe GlOrIfYiNg oBeSiTy.” By posting photos of my large body in a celebratory and non-derogatory way. 
By demanding space for my big body. 
By being unapologetic about my self on the internet. 
I don’t owe it to you to not eat in public. I don’t owe it to you to choose a Diet Coke or salad with my dressing on the side when I’m ordering at a restaurant. I don’t owe it to you to be obsessed with diet chatter. 
No I don’t want your unsolicited “clean eating” advice or essay long diet plans in my DM. No I don’t want you give me an “alternative” to what I’m eating. No my life doesn’t revolve around the idea of thinness being superior. 
You’d like me to conform? Force my body into something that it’s not, deprive myself of nutrients, just for your enjoyment? 
Ain’t happening. 
You don’t know anyone’s food-related or body related struggles just by looking at them. 
Have you ever received unsolicited diet or exercise advice? Has someone ever been surprised by your body’s capabilities despite being too big, too little, or handicapable? Let’s chat. 📷 @remy_me 
#detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #eatingdisorderrecovery #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #naturalhair #selflove #streetstyle #hijabi #fuckdietculture #editorial
I notice when I talk about body acceptance, usually of marginalized bodies. I get: “YoU aRe GlOrIfYiNg oBeSiTy.” By posting photos of my large body in a celebratory and non-derogatory way. By demanding space for my big body. By being unapologetic about my self on the internet. I don’t owe it to you to not eat in public. I don’t owe it to you to choose a Diet Coke or salad with my dressing on the side when I’m ordering at a restaurant. I don’t owe it to you to be obsessed with diet chatter. No I don’t want your unsolicited “clean eating” advice or essay long diet plans in my DM. No I don’t want you give me an “alternative” to what I’m eating. No my life doesn’t revolve around the idea of thinness being superior. You’d like me to conform? Force my body into something that it’s not, deprive myself of nutrients, just for your enjoyment? Ain’t happening. You don’t know anyone’s food-related or body related struggles just by looking at them. Have you ever received unsolicited diet or exercise advice? Has someone ever been surprised by your body’s capabilities despite being too big, too little, or handicapable? Let’s chat. 📷 @remy_me #detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #eatingdisorderrecovery #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #naturalhair #selflove #streetstyle #hijabi #fuckdietculture #editorial
To all of my single, divorced, widowed, or in-between situationships folks. To all my haven’t been married yet but being pressured by family and society to do so, the shot my shot but got friend-zoned, and we not sure what we doing folks, I see you. I purposely bought a flight to New York a few days before Valentines Day just so I wouldn’t be in the relationship capital that is Michigan to avoid the influx of V-Day festivities and couples holding hands downtown. Do not sulk today. Today is just like any other day that we’ve placed importance on. You aren’t alone in the struggle. I get it. It’s hard to find quality people to love, to date, to be with. Do not be pressured into bad situations because you don’t want to be alone. Don’t settle for less because you are afraid of being by yourself. We come into this world alone and we will leave it alone. I don’t know your situation, but you don’t need another person to complete you or validate you. I used to feel so lonely when I was married. You can be lonely in a relationship, too. Stop asking folks when they are getting married! Or why they are single! Cuz then imma ask you when yo man gone stop cheating on you 😂🤣 Your time for a worthy partner is coming. Love comes when you least expect it. Until then, you betta have the best Galentine’s Day ever! Hang out with your pals. Get a mani/pedi. Treat yo self! Self care is the best care. *tongue pop* What are you doing for V-Day? Do you feel pressured to get married or find a partner? Do you get asked why you’re still single? Let’s chat. #detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #instamakeup #londonblogger #psfashion #modestfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #motd #selflove #streetstyle #valentines #nyfw
I was bombarded with so much love and support. Good vibes and all the works from my community. I had psyched myself up to the point of making myself sick. I do that sometimes. 
I’m so bent on making the right decisions, on making things work, not asking for help when I need it. I pour from an empty cup even though I know I shouldn’t. 
I woke up feeling much more refreshed because I revisited my why. When I consult with entrepreneurs who hire me as a brand builder/social media strategist, I always say that in times of need, in times of indecision, times where you are like fuck this shit, I have no plan or money, you gotta go back to why you started in the first place. 
I started my BoPo/self-love journey publicly because I was tired of that same ole narrative. I wasn’t the typical black girl. The typical fat person. The typical Muslim. 
Why hadn’t I seen myself represented in the media? So, with no dollars I started my own little revolution. I remember the exact day. I told all of my 1200 followers that shit was about to get real. That I was gonna tell my story unapologetically back in 2016. And, create content on my own terms. 
I’ve made great strides with the trauma, the baggage, the weight, the hijab, and with each stride I find out how much more of a bad ass and fearless bitch that I am. I’m ready for the next thing, that next level. 
How long have you followed my journey? What made you follow me? Had you seen me in-person or featured in an article? Just curious. Let’s chat. 📷 @being_madinah 
#detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #modestfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #anxiety #selflove #streetstyle #goldenconfidence #nyfw
I was bombarded with so much love and support. Good vibes and all the works from my community. I had psyched myself up to the point of making myself sick. I do that sometimes. I’m so bent on making the right decisions, on making things work, not asking for help when I need it. I pour from an empty cup even though I know I shouldn’t. I woke up feeling much more refreshed because I revisited my why. When I consult with entrepreneurs who hire me as a brand builder/social media strategist, I always say that in times of need, in times of indecision, times where you are like fuck this shit, I have no plan or money, you gotta go back to why you started in the first place. I started my BoPo/self-love journey publicly because I was tired of that same ole narrative. I wasn’t the typical black girl. The typical fat person. The typical Muslim. Why hadn’t I seen myself represented in the media? So, with no dollars I started my own little revolution. I remember the exact day. I told all of my 1200 followers that shit was about to get real. That I was gonna tell my story unapologetically back in 2016. And, create content on my own terms. I’ve made great strides with the trauma, the baggage, the weight, the hijab, and with each stride I find out how much more of a bad ass and fearless bitch that I am. I’m ready for the next thing, that next level. How long have you followed my journey? What made you follow me? Had you seen me in-person or featured in an article? Just curious. Let’s chat. 📷 @being_madinah #detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #modestfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #anxiety #selflove #streetstyle #goldenconfidence #nyfw
I’m grateful for good friends. This morning I woke up feeling like shit, void of energy, void of inspiration and was ready to throw my entire month in New York away before it even began. 
I’m not cut out for this. You won’t make it. There’s too much pressure. You aren’t who you say you are. Just cancel the whole thing. Unpack all your bags. 
Just stay paralyzed in bed, I told myself. 
I got up anyway. I text my friend and told her it was a mistake. She called me. I started crying, like boo hoo crying. “It’s all too much,” I wailed. “Get your things together. I’m taking you to the airport,” she said. “Eat breakfast first.” I wiped my tears. Overwhelmed. Defeated. Afraid of new things. Afraid of failure. Emotional and overthinking about the “what if this goes completely wrong” instead of thinking about how the universe has conspired to get me to where I  now even in the chaos that is my life. 
I’m on the flight right now waiting for takeoff. I don’t know what to think. Or know how things will go. But I’m on the flight. 
It’s okay to be scared. Do it anyway. It’s okay to be unsure. Do that shit anyway. It’s okay to not have a fuckin clue or plan and you are solely doing it on a whim, a wish, and a prayer. Do it anyway. 
What techniques, quotes, people do you rely on to get over negative thoughts, thoughts of inadequacy, or just fear? Let’s chat. P.S. Send me good vibes. I need all that I can get. 📷 @rvxmendoza 
#detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #modestfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #anxiety #selflove #streetstyle #goldenconfidence #nyfw
I’m grateful for good friends. This morning I woke up feeling like shit, void of energy, void of inspiration and was ready to throw my entire month in New York away before it even began. I’m not cut out for this. You won’t make it. There’s too much pressure. You aren’t who you say you are. Just cancel the whole thing. Unpack all your bags. Just stay paralyzed in bed, I told myself. I got up anyway. I text my friend and told her it was a mistake. She called me. I started crying, like boo hoo crying. “It’s all too much,” I wailed. “Get your things together. I’m taking you to the airport,” she said. “Eat breakfast first.” I wiped my tears. Overwhelmed. Defeated. Afraid of new things. Afraid of failure. Emotional and overthinking about the “what if this goes completely wrong” instead of thinking about how the universe has conspired to get me to where I now even in the chaos that is my life. I’m on the flight right now waiting for takeoff. I don’t know what to think. Or know how things will go. But I’m on the flight. It’s okay to be scared. Do it anyway. It’s okay to be unsure. Do that shit anyway. It’s okay to not have a fuckin clue or plan and you are solely doing it on a whim, a wish, and a prayer. Do it anyway. What techniques, quotes, people do you rely on to get over negative thoughts, thoughts of inadequacy, or just fear? Let’s chat. P.S. Send me good vibes. I need all that I can get. 📷 @rvxmendoza #detroitblogger #psootd #plussize #instafashion #bodypositive #bgki #honormycurves #effyourbeautystandards #pizzasisters4lyfe #blackgirlswhoblog #fashion #londonblogger #psfashion #modestfashion #blackgirlmagic #muslimgirl #bodyconfidence #plusmodel #feminist #wiw #intersectionalfeminism #turbanista #bodydysmorphia #fatacceptance #anxiety #selflove #streetstyle #goldenconfidence #nyfw

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Photos Courtesy of  Jenny Li  (Chicago)

Photos Courtesy of Jenny Li (Chicago)

Accepting My Body As It Is

April 10, 2018

My body has done some pretty amazing things lately. I mean, some things that I’d never thought it would do. It breathes for me when I sleep. It’s able to do an hour of cardio without stopping. It has allowed me to successfully complete a five-city college speaking tour. And, yeah, in between those good times, it’s been achy, moody, and fatigue, but it still pushes even when I’ve given up.

Do you ever take the time to appreciate your body?

There was a time for me when I hadn’t. I fully underestimated my body, my self. I fully allowed others to dictate how I viewed it, how I treated it. I policed its every move to the point of self-harm and self-hatred. I loathed everything about it. The way it spoke, the way it awkwardly moved and hid itself in the shadows of beautiful, thin people. How the light drained from it once I stepped on a scale and saw that the first number started with a 3 instead of a 1. The ‘you shouldn’t eat that’ and the ‘you shouldn’t wear that’ crumbled me to the point of extinction.

2018-03-31 12.54.37 2.jpg

I couldn’t find one part of me that was acceptable, beautiful, worthy. What a cruel life to live. Walking around like an insecure shell of a human. That was me. For many years. An empty vessel filled with worthlessness.

How many of us are walking around like that right now? With our heads down, scanning the internet for #Thinspo and #BodyGoals. In search of the next quick fix DIE-t plan and flat tummy tea. Scrolling aimlessly through a Kardashian’s feed, pinpointing all the spots of skin with no stretch marks and wishing our thigh gaps could be as wide. Adding seventeen different filters to a selfie that we took out of a hundred selfies that all look the same. Swipe left. Swipe right. Swipe left. Swipe right. That’s my better angle. Hiding double chins and smoothing out cellulite from an app we paid 2.99 for. Comparing ourselves to the perky-breasted super-model on the cover flap of a popular magazine without knowledge that she has an entire team to make her look so ‘picture perfect’.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

2018-03-31 12.54.37 1.jpg

I, too, have fallen into the media trap where I’d fallen so deep that I couldn’t get up. One perfect page leads to the next perfect page and I’ve found myself comparing and contrasting my body to hers. Wishing I could have some of what she had. This perfect Insta-Model has got it all. And, I had nothing at all. Why had she been so lucky?

One day, I decided to not compare myself to others. Well, not completely, but much less. It’s humanly impossible to not compare. Less is better.

One day, I asked myself what if I loved and appreciated my body how it was in that exact moment? What if I worked on being healthy and strong and built my endurance, instead of weighing myself twice a day and starving to the point of migraines? What would it look like to accept my body as is?

I hadn’t known what it looked like because I’d never seen it before. But, I was willing to try.

2018-03-31 12.54.45 1.jpg

I started with looking in the mirror instead of passing them by. Avoiding them. I started dancing in public. Instead of dancing on the sidelines, I moved to the middle where the action was. I became less aware of my jiggly parts. Thin bodies hadn’t jiggled. So, I was always conscious about my folds moving when I moved. That had to stop. I took selfies and I posted them. I tackled my insecurities head on and exploited them instead of hiding them. I told people to look at the parts that I tried so hard to hide. I claimed those parts, no matter how upsetting they were.

Why had they upset me so much in the first place? Because they hadn’t fit into the mold of traditional beauty? My jiggly parts, my spaced teeth, large forehead, wide-set toes, and hip pockets weren’t considered beautiful. They were very much so the opposite attributes of beauty that we seen growing up.

I hated myself because everyone told me to.

2018-03-31 12.54.54 1.jpg

But, I had a choice. And, I chose to live life with my body as it was.

Many of times we go on these rants and raves about finding the answers to life’s questions. We go on these quests to figure out the root of our happiness. When the answer is always within us. It’s there the entire time. We just have to go through the process of internal self-discovery. And, that means making the choice to do something different. Making the choice to pull ourselves out of the loop. To view it from a different angle.

xoxo,

 

Leah V

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